Today is a hard day for Carter and if I’m being honest me. While it’s only 4 minutes into Mother’s Day it’s hard. My son whom I love has been extra hard on me this week. Lots of disrespect and intentionally being difficult. It’s like every year I forget and then the night before or the day of Carter breaks down crying and I’m like duh. It’s Mother’s Day it’s such a trigger. It’s such a hard day. While I’m him mom now and I’ve given him a safe and loving home. Mary will always be is biological mother. There is no changing that. Mother’s Day brings up memories and hard things. It just does. I was hurt this week because we don’t celebrate Mother’s Day, because it is a trigger. So when Carter told me he was going to spend the whole day working a Mother’s Day brunch I was hurt. We don’t even go to church because it is so hard, yet he’s going to work? Tonight he came home from work, showered and went into his room. That’s when I heard it, he was crying. I texted him and asked him to come out to me. I figured I didn’t want to force it. He came out and I said I heard you crying. Do you want to talk about it? He said “I hate Mother’s Day”. I said what’s going on? He said just a lot of bad memories of her. I just held him for a few minutes gave him the space to talk and I just held him close. People don’t understand they say he should get over it. Sure, they are right on some level. I’d say he’s trying. While I’d rather spend the day with my son on Mother’s Day, I’m proud of him for pushing himself. Today isn’t going to be easy for him. Heck it’s not going to be easy for me either. I’m spending it by myself, and that’s hard. I have my own Mother’s Day trauma.
Update on Legal things…
April of 2025 Mary took a plea deal. She would get probation, fines, and go on the sex offender registry. A few weeks later, she was sentenced. She got the minimum fines, and a year of probation. Which really with the sex offender list you have probation for life anyway. Something else happened. Right around the time school started. The drives past our apartment stopped. This has made up both more at ease.
Carter is graduating from High School in a little over three weeks. He has a full ride to college, and I am proud of him. It’s easy sometimes to be discouraged in the hard days. It’s easy to take it personal. It’s hard on me too and I’m human. Then a day like today happens and I’m reminded of how far he has come. This week was hard, and it doesn’t define him or me or our relationship. Today sharing our hearts and being honest does.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there. You matter. As I told Carter today he is the only gift I need for Mother’s Day. He is the reason I even have a Mother’s Day. I’m grateful for that.
