Indicted

If I’m being honest, I haven’t posted in a while not because there haven’t been things to say. Its just it all seems is overwhelming, I just don’t always know how to put things into words.

Monday night was a hard one in our house. Carter came back from being out and he seemed off. When I asked he said I’m fine, so I didn’t push it too much. Then before I knew it he was crying and inconsolable. It literally took me all night into the morning to calm him down and get him to sleep. I knew he had been triggered, but he was so distraught he couldn’t verbalize it to me. He scared me honestly, I literally got dressed and went to work. I was exhausted, but I had to go in. I am a single mom, I have to provide for us. A friend of mine stayed at the apartment with him as much as possible. I was worried about him, and then something else happened.

We got a call from the prosecutor. They told us the grand jury Indicted Mary of 2nd degree endangering the welfare of a minor, 2nd Degree sexual conduct of a minor, and 2 counts of sexual assault. Carter was relieved, and me well I felt my heart drop. Carter seemed happy and felt as though he has been heard, and that something was finally being done about it. I totally support Carter, that is for sure. I’d be lying though if I said my heart doesn’t hurt for Mary. I mean who wants their sister to go to jail? I don’t want to see her go to jail. The charges are a minimum of 5 years in jail. 5 years is a long time. Plus, she you have Megan’s Law (Sexual Predator Registry), and did I mention lifetime parole? They are going to offer her that at the arraignment. I can’t imagine she will take it. Mary has denied the sexual and physical abuse ever happened.

It’s funny, well not really. Mary has lied and lied to my family. Yet it’s easier to believe that Carter is lying, and I put him up to it? Not for nothing, but I just want to live our lives and move on. Who wants to deal with all of this and what it means even though it is the truth. Who would want to go through with it if it was a lie? Who has time for that? Not me, that is for sure. It is insulting and just cruel to assume Carter is lying. I mean what would he or I get from lying about it. 

Carter while happy he was heard, was an anxious mess. He said he has been thinking about testifying in class, and then he ended up throwing up. So I had to take the poor kid home from school. He threw up one more time, so he is home the next day too. However, he seemed fine all night tonight. That is a good sign.

This is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Parenting is the hardest job I’ve ever had. I love Carter so much, and I am glad he is living with me. I honestly was not prepared to pick Carter up one day and be his parent forever. However, that is what happened. I am blessed to have amazing people in my life. I really wish my family would support Carter, be on his side, stand up for what is right. I am grateful he is with me and feels safe.